They wouldn’t know that grief had come down up on him unbearably, and he must be alone to put his arms around her, and feel her arms around him, to take enough comfort from grieving so that he could return to finish the business of the day.
– Cynthia Voigt, The Wings of a Falcon, page 456
Version:
Paperback, 544 pages
Published May 26th 2015 by Atheneum Books for Young Readers
I feel really weird today. Today is my 26th birthday. I never once in my life expected to reach this age.
I decided a long time ago that I didn’t want to live. For the purposes of this post I am putting aside the stories of various attempts and self-harm, because what I want to focus on is the fact that I had decided back in middle or high school that if somehow I managed to reach 25 years old, that would be the end no matter what.
I had a plan to make it so no one could stop me and I would complete a suicide finally, and never live past 25. “That’s plenty long enough to live,” I told myself.
I had been realizing that despite my deep depression and anxiety (and the fact that I now rarely leave my home) that at the very least my first thoughts were not always of suicide. When you looked at my life I didn’t seem to be making any steps towards recover, and things are still extremely hard, but going from actively planning to kill myself to focusing on getting to the next day is already a huge step for me.
Then I turned 25 and my husband was very scared because I never did hide my intentions, but instead of putting pressure on me, he chose to focus on helping me get from day to day, helping me do the one thing I was still able to enjoy (reading), and encouraging me whenever I did anything related to self-care no matter how small.
At the beginning these things were so tiny as to almost be darkly funny. Forced myself to get out of bed for the day and not go back until I was going to sleep earned me proud looks and hugs. And slowly those accomplishments grew. Took a shower? “Hurray!” Prepared my own food today? “Amazing! So yummy!” Had my mother over for a visit? “Wow! Good job! You did a lot today!” Actually left the house and went with my mom and husband to do something? “I’m so proud of you for getting out, baby. I’m so glad you have fun.”
And sure, some days I don’t manage any of those things, but as long as I’m trying he doesn’t mind. And slowly, I have started to see the progress more clearly than the setbacks.
And throughout my 25th year, while I did sometimes think of suicide, I only planned once (not too seriously), and I managed to push through to the next day.
Now I am 26. I have officially outlived my own plans. It’s a little scary because I never made even rudimentary plans for my life. I never finished high school, I never planned for college, I never learned job skills, I still don’t leave the house much….
But if I can make it further than I ever even imagined to be possible, then maybe, just maybe, I’ll find a way to move forward and build a life. Maybe it’s really never too late.
Wishing myself luck and small victories, and the same to all of you out there who are struggling to find a reason or way to live. Today I share my birthday wish with you.
♪ And many mooooore…. ♪
There was something that hurt him in the way the hills rose so gently from the broad, rich southern plain. Something painful in the lazy curves of the river, golden under a sinking sun, shadowed by the trees that grew along its edges.
– Cynthia Voigt, The Wings of a Falcon, page 419
Version:
Paperback, 544 pages
Published May 26th 2015 by Atheneum Books for Young Readers
The Friday 56 is a weekly meme hosted by Freda’s Voice and the rules are simple:
It seemed to her that, except to marry, the women of Trastad feared men, except for their fathers, and brothers; and the fathers, brothers and husbands mistrusted all other men.
First Lines Fridays is a weekly feature for book lovers hosted by Wandering Words. What if instead of judging a book by its cover, its author or its prestige, we judged it by its opening lines?
First Lines:
The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Interested? Scroll down for the cover and summary!
Facing annihilation at the hands of the warlike Vogons is a curious time to have a craving for tea. It could only happen to the cosmically displaced Arthur Dent and his curious comrades in arms as they hurtle across space powered by pure improbability — and desperately in search of a place to eat.
Among Arthur’s motley shipmates are Ford Prefect, a longtime friend and expert contributor to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; Zaphod Beeblebrox, the three-armed, two-headed ex-president of the galaxy; Tricia McMillan, a fellow Earth refugee who’s gone native (her name is Trillian now); and Marvin, the moody android who suffers nothing and no one very gladly. Their destination? The ultimate hot spot for an evening of apocalyptic entertainment and fine dining, where the food (literally) speaks for itself.
Will they make it? The answer: hard to say. But bear in mind that the Hitchhiker’s Guide deleted the term “Future Perfect” from its pages, since it was discovered not to be!
In the white, warmless light of the moon, his people’s fear rose up like a tide towards Malke, and it seemed to Oriel that the King drank in that fear, as if it were wine to give him strength and rejoicing.
– Cynthia Voigt, The Wings of a Falcon, page 284
Version:
Paperback, 544 pages
Published May 26th 2015 by Atheneum Books for Young Readers
This weekly feature is the place to highlight a great quote, line, or passage discovered during your reading each week; whether it’s something funny, startling, gut-wrenching, or just really beautifully written.
But on this night, for this Volkking’s death, when the Death Maiden no longer cried out, and the beating hands had tired, and throats were too raw to howl again, and silence flowed like night out of the low doorway of the Death House, flames erupted —
Summary:
Newbery Medalist Cynthia Voigt depicts the parallel quests of two extraordinary young women with power and compassion in this fourth and final book in the Tales of the Kingdom series.
Elske is a girl with no future—until her grandmother’s sacrifice saves her from certain death. Beriel is an imperious princess, determined to claim the kingdom that is her birthright. Fate brings them together, both exiles, one servant to the other. Elske offers Beriel steadfast loyalty and courage, precious qualities in a dangerous quest to regain the throne she has been denied by treachery. And for Elske, the handmaiden, Beriel’s proud example provides a perhaps even more precious gift—the strength to look within. As Elske seeks to find her true self and Beriel battles to reclaim what is rightfully hers, both discover the value, and the price, of reaching the journey’s end.
Thank you Bookshelf Fantasies for this fun book meme!
Fear burned through him, like a flame. Fear coursed through him, like icy water. He threw his head back and raised his dagger, to strike — and cried out wordlessly, as if the great cry could gather all his fear together and set its swelling course behind him, to add it to his strength.
– Cynthia Voigt, The Wings of a Falcon, page 220
Version:
Paperback, 544 pages
Published May 26th 2015 by Atheneum Books for Young Readers
What are some of your favorite books in your favorite genre that don’t get a lot of hype?
To participate in Top 5 Wednesday, head over to their Goodreads Group!
I swear there isn’t a single book rec that goes by without me trying to get someone to read these books. It’s a four-book, loosely-connected, non-magical, fantasy series, in a feudal sort of setting. These are actually some of my all-time favorite books. The female characters are strong, without falling into the whole “strong = masculine” trope, and the lack of magical powers doesn’t take away from the overall magic of the story at all.
This middle grade fantasy series was actually my introduction to the genre and they remain favorites to this day. It starts with a fairy tale retelling of The Goose Girl and expands from there into a lovely series full of magic and friendship and saving kingdoms.
This is another middle grade fantasy series. In this one, a boy discovers a hidden land under NYC and he and his family proceed to get caught up in a bunch of prophecies. There’s not magic in this one, unless you count giant talking animals as magical…
Nature magic via song? Yes, thank you! This trilogy begins with a world divided. Those with magic are separate from those without, and even the individual types of magic wielders keep segregated. But what world could thrive like that?
In this standalone novel, serving maid Dashti is bricked into a tower with her obstinate mistress as a seven-year punishment. It’s another fairytale retelling — Shannon’s specialty if you ask me — and this time the magic works through song.
I’d love to hear what books from your favorite genre haven’t gotten the attention they deserve. Hit me up with some recommendations everybody!
Welcome to WWW Wednesday! This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at Should be Reading and revived on Taking on a World of Words. Just answer the three W’s!
The Three Ws are:
What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?
Currently Reading: Elske (Tales of the Kingdom, book 4) by Cynthia VoigtAlright now, I’m determined to read this book slower this time around. It’s the one I’ve read least often of all the Tales of the Kingdom books, for unknown reasons, and because of that, I tend to speed through it! This time I’m going to take my time and imagine every little detail. I mean it!
Read my Review of Elske!
Note: Also published as The Tale of Elske, which is the version I’ll be reading this time since I don’t have access to my own copy.
Recently Finished: The Third Eye by Lois DuncanI decided about a week or so ago that I should go back and reread Lois Duncan’s novels, as well as read the ones I never got to the first time around. And in a remarkably unusual turn, I actually got a bunch of her books from the library and went through with a plan before a whole year passed! Amazing!
This is only the second book I’ve gotten to of hers so far, but I’m enjoying myself. I always like a good psychic story! And despite the cheesy-ness I liked who the little girl turned out to be.
Read the Mini-Review!
Reading Next: Locked in Time by Lois DuncanThis is the third book I grabbed up by Lois Duncan, and the first so far that is a reread.
I can’t remember much about it because I read it back in like middle or early high school, so I don’t even remember if I liked it or not.
I may read it before I actually finish Elske, just to force myself to slow down on that reread.
Darkestwings Reads