Dear Future Self,

Do not ever pick up this book again. I know everything that you think and have formulated a list of rebuttals below:

“I didn’t hate the movie…”
Yes you did, you only watched it because Saoirse Ronan was in it, do not lie to yourself.

“Well if I can stand to read Twilight, I can stand to read this…”
False. You have tried to read it twice now, and both times you hated every second of it.

“Maybe an audiobook…”
You just tried that and you got 2/3 of the way through, saw how much longer it was going to go on, and gave up because it wasn’t worth it.

“Yeah, but so-and-so loves it…”
So-and-so obviously has infinite patience, but you don’t. Move on.

“But-“
No seriously think of one thing you liked about this book. Go on. One little thing.

Exactly. Now go read something good.

Best Wishes,
Your Past Self